The Words of a Bully...Tiffany's Story

I remember I would wait for Olivia to turn the corner of the block we lived on.  Some days she would try to stall by not coming home her usual time.  That would just piss me off even more and increase my anger.  As soon as I saw her coming down the street, I could see in her eyes that she feared me.  Her eyes would instantly water with tears.  That would just fuel me more.  I would walk behind her kicking dirt at her heels or pulling her bag from her shoulders.  She wouldn't say anything to me but I could see the tears slide down her face.  I didn't care.   She would walk faster.  I would do all I could before she made it to her door.  I could see her trembling to put the key in.  I would yell to her that I would see her at the same time tomorrow.


Olivia never did anything to me.  She was a quiet girl, very pretty in her own way.  I just hated the fact that I would see her with her mother all the time.  My mom was never around.  I hated when I would see Olivia hand in hand with her mom.  I hated that her mother loved her so much to stay in her life but mine was no where to be found. Life is not fair.  I taunted Olivia because she had what I wanted. My bullying her was me filling a void that. It was my way of getting revenge because I was deserted, neglected and abandoned.  How dare someone else experience the love of a mother and I had not.

It was not until I went through my own journey of forgiveness that I understood why I responded to Olivia the way I did.  I was hurt.  People saw me as a monster.  Teachers disliked me.  Neighbors would roll their eyes and whisper about me when I walked past.  Yet no one ever really tried to understand my pain, my hurt.  I feel sorry for how I reacted to Olivia.  I am a whole woman now with a daughter of my own.  I would never want my child to be subject to the type of pain that I caused Olivia.  I would never want Olivia to be subject to the pain that I endured from abandonment.

Olivia, I am sorry for those years of torture.  I am sorry that I caused you discomfort and pain.  You never deserved the treatment that I gave you.  I cannot take any of those horrible things back., but I can offer you my deepest sincere apology.

Forgiveness between Sisters

Sometimes in life, we come to a place where we recognize what really matters.

This is the point where we stop focusing on the details of what has happened, and more on the details of why this person affects us so.

This is the point where we understand what the meaning of love is-the ability to love someone beyond their mistakes.

You are my sister and at this most precious time in your life, I want to be apart of it all.

I apologize for not being who you needed me to be.

I understand that you want nothing more of me-than to just be your sister.

I want you to know that I love you and whenever you need me-you have a sister that is ready to take your hand to support you through whatever may come.

I love you and I am so proud of the woman that you have become.

A Mother's Reflection

I look at you and I see so much of myself.

However, I have realized that you have become your own person.

From the time of your birth, I have tried to shelter you from unnecessary hurt and protect you from the harshness of this world. 

All I have ever wanted is for you to live life to its fullest and for you to live in complete destiny.

At times, I know that I can seem overbearing.  It’s just that you are my baby and there are so many dreams that I have for you.

I know that you are growing and maturing.  I see the woman in you screaming to stand independent of me.

I understand that I must stand back and trust that everything that has been deposited in you will surface at the appropriate time.

I just need you to know that I am proud of you.

I am your mother, now transitioning to become your friend.

Bear with me as I separate my hand from yours and allow you to flourish into the woman that you were destined to be.

Honor the Shoulders You Stand on

No one arrives at the place of success alone.  It is just not possible.  God places people in our path to transition us from one step to another in our process.  These individuals may come in the form of family, friends, loved ones, or enemies.  Nevertheless, the role they play is to quickly move you into a different place of thinking, being, or living.

The women whose shoulders you stand on, cherish them.  They gladly support you through their words, prayers, and actions.  The delivery of encouragement may at times seem bold or harsh but understand that it comes from a genuine place of love for you and commitment to you.  They carry your dreams in their heart.  The y desire to see you do and become everything that you have uttered from your lips.  Remember the conversations that occur in the midday or the wee hours of the night, nothing but love does that. 

Honor these shoulders.  Look down every once and while to offer a smile or a simply thank you. 

Wisdom in the Veil

If your dream is not worth the fight maybe its not your dream.  If your dream is not worth the tears, the disappointments, the setbacks, the faith,  the attacks from the people who don't believe, then you don't deserve to have it!

Saving not only my body but my mind: Melanie's Story

 A 17 year old virgin.  That is me.  It is crazy because I see my friends discussing how good sex is with this one and that one, yet when the boy stops ringing the phone, that smile quickly fades away.  They tell me so many times how stupid I am for not having sex.  I just smile because they only worries I have is getting into college not the panic from a drug store pregnancy test or a trip to a clinic without the other piece of the puzzle that helped get me there.

I don't judged what my friends do.  I listen to their stories of "passion" and how good it felt to have him inside of her.  I get it.  We all want boys to like us.  We want to feel like we are worthy to be in his personal space where for that moment only him and I exist. Trust me, I get it.  What I don't get is why my decision to not have sex is not respected or quite frankly rejected.

When I got in trouble with my Mom, she would say, if so and so jumped off the building would you?  I go against the normal creed.  I live in a day where originality is seen as abnormal and ridiculed.  In groups of friends, the issue of sex always comes up.  When I say that I am a virgin, they stare at my like I am a participant in a freak show.  Come on people.  I am curious about sex.  I get wet. I have feelings.  I am human.  I want to be in someones arms.  My body reacts when I see a cute guy.  I fantasize about being bent over.  I am human.  I have just decided that I don't want just any man to have that piece of me.

My decision is not based off of religious propaganda.  In fact, I get upset when I see church women teaching us about abstinence when none of them have lived the life or better yet only speak to young girls in a youth session where they use the time to grand stand, not realizing that they are making a fool of themselves in front of us.  The church is a joke when it comes to teaching its youth about sexual conduct.  All they say is don't do it.  Wait. But never really explain why we are waiting or how to wait, or how it feels to wait.  But hey, these women can't teach on something that they have not experienced.

My decision solely came from the fact that I did not want to end up like my friends.  I don't want to be a mom.  I am just learning me, which is hard enough.  I can't learn two people at one time.  Above all, I don't want to be hurt.  Sex is serious.  I see how love or what we think is love can really destroy the mind and kill emotions.  I want my mind.  I want to be whole.  I don't want to broken unnecessarily to spend even more unnecessary time trying to rebuild myself.  I have seen my mom, my grand mom, almost every woman in my family go through that cycle.  I don't want it!  I don't!  Some things I see some women endure, I realize that I am not built for.  I just believe that I deserve a lot more.  I don't want my future to be out of my reach from my decisions.  I have a hard enough time convincing myself that my dreams are a hands reach away.  I don't want my decisions to pull me in the wrong direction. 

I know I am only 17 and I have a lot of life to see.  I just want to do it with clear eyes, a clear heart, and a clear mind.  This is why I choose to wait.

Empowerment Behind The Veil: First Lady, Michelle Obama takes a trip to Africa.

Monday, June 2011, First Lady Michelle Obama, Malia, Sasha, Ms. Robinson, and Social Aides traveled to South Africa for a week long campaign to inspire young people.  First Lady Michelle Obama stated that her trip to South Africa was to connect to the country, for Africa has a wealth of resources that benefits the world.  She also stated that she wanted to inspire the youth to become whatever they dared dream. 

Footage of First Lady Michelle Obama has been shown on virtually every major network as she danced with young women, toured historic sites and inspired young people with riveting speeches to dream and become.

The power of words is beyond our own comprehension.  What was said years before can have a single impact on a life in present day.  What is spoken of and encouraged behind the veil always always manifests in a powerful public presentation.

View our First Lady's speech below:

First Lady inspires young women to dream:

Keepers of the Veil: Looking for a few GEMS

BTPV honors women that understand that the collective is so much stronger than the individual.  These women search out the destructive holes that trap us in our own negativity and pain; in attempt to patch them with the cement of understanding, love, and resolution. 


Rachel Lloyd is the founder and Executive Director of GEMS (Girls Education and Mentoring Services) Rachel, a survivor of child trafficking has made it her mission to provide a way of escape through resources and mentorship  for other girls and young women in similar situations.  You can read more about Rachel at http://www.gems-girls.org/.


Take a look at the wonderful work that GEMS is doing to rebuild the confidence of our young women.

Transitions

I stand here at this very moment, looking ahead, not really knowing or understanding what lies ahead of me.

I understand at this very moment that I have changed, changed not in the sense of personality, body structure, or to fit anyone’s requirements.

I have changed in the sense of being.

My life is different, my thoughts are different, and my heart is different.

You must understand that this change is for no one other than me.

This whole process is about no one but me and coming into full acceptance that it has been me all along. I now know that it has been me that has been making this journey so hard to endure

I stand here, prepared to move forward with a renewed mind and a new spirit.

I no longer fight against my journey,

I have just learned how to embrace every step and receive every lesson from each situation.

I am walking each step of this journey, realizing that I am closer and closer to destiny, closer to transformation.

I am not afraid or nervous.

I wait in expectation of further evolving, further becoming, and further being changed.

Walking with Weary Faith?

Don't worry, do not be dismayed, the evidence of your faith is that you are still walking.  In your vision you may feel that your faith is in lack, but think about it, would you continue to walk if you did not think there was a destination?  Relax, breathe, regain your focus blinded by your tears.  You are in the comfort of your faith, your desire to win, and the undeniable fact that you are an over comer. 


Beautiful woman, your strength is perfected in your weakness.  Be encouraged.  Destiny is waiting for you. 

How do I come to a place in myself where I can justify what has happened to me?

It came without notice but with sudden force.  I was blind sided or maybe I wasn't.  My foundation not only shifted but cracked and I found myself stretched between the two with only myself as the connect.  When it happened, I don't know.  How it happened, I can't figure it out.  What I can tell you is that I was struck with such force that came from all directions that I did not know how to defend myself or what I was to defend myself against.  Yes, it came that fast.

Here I am in the middle of it, trying to recollect the memory of what I was prior.  I could care less about what I have lost, no, let me rephrase that.  I did care about what had been lost but when I realized that I didn't recognize myself, nothing else seemed to matter.  Life is funny, the things I thought mattered before, means absolutely nothing to me now.  I have no peace, I have no joy, I have no idea how to conjure the will power to face the clean up.  The clean up of me.  Pain teaches me that I am human.  Life teaches me that I really don't have the control that I think that I have.

What I have experienced, no human language can explain.  I know of no words that can fully define this struggle. I have endured many things in my life, but this, this particular storm has knocked wind from me.  This storm has separated me from the person that I once knew...me.  I wake in the morning not believing or understanding why I am still here. The dullness in my heart stems from not knowing how to respond to the weakness that consumes me. My eyes hurt from the tears that take residence every hour of the day.  I have the ability of my limbs yet with every movement it feels like I am full of lead.  I see no reprieve. I see no light.  It is clear that no one can put me back together, except me.  This is a storm that has taken and tested.  How do I come to a place in myself where I can justify what has happened to me?

Understand that you are not alone!

Beautiful You

You Are Beautiful! Yes, You!

You are beautiful.

You are precious.

You have no idea the pride that I have to hold your hand.

The strength that I see in your eyes makes me want to move forward.

The love that I see in your eyes makes me want to give more.

The firmness in your built helps me to understand that I can fight harder… you did.

You make me want to.

You are beautiful.  My sister.

I support you.  I believe in you.

I praise you for still standing after everything that you have come through.

I stand with you, connected in love, connected in faith, connected in hope.

  

Thank you for being such an example and for having a great impact on my life.

When we can see the beauty in one another, we can see the beauty in ourselves.  When we can fully celebrate the light and life in another female without envy, without jealousy, with true sincere celebration, is when unity amongst us takes place.

Enourage a female in your life today.  When one is encouraged, we all feel the effects.  The circle of unity gains its strength and authenticity.